Band Madness!

Mini Madness: Squarest Band

In honor of my parents’ recent visit to New York and a strange conversation with my mother concerning the Rolling Stones, I’ve been thinking about what I consider to be “parent” music, and not just Rolling Stones, Beatles, Elton John and whatever light folk or quirky side-thing (country, Saturday Night Fever soundtrack) parents just sort of quietly enjoy. I’m talking about absolutely, universally lame adult music that attaches plastic explosives to the bridges across the generation gap. I gotta ask, which is the most notorious “lame” band?

19 comments so far

Dream Band: Drummers, Round 1

Thanks for being patient, everyone, but now it’s time to move the arguments to the world of drummers and bassists. Who’s gonna be twirling the sticks for the Dream Band?

Remember two things:

1) You don’t necessarily have to pick the more technically skilled or more revered performer, the only question is, “who would you like to have as the drummer in your band?

2) We’re picking a drummer now, so the Dream Band is probably going to have to rehearse at this person’s house. Have at it.

20 comments so far

Drummers and Bassists Coming Soon

Apologies for the lack of updating, but between getting drunk at the Webby Awards, performing in Sketch Fest NYC, and working for the website that actually pays me, I simply haven’t gotten around to writing a bunch of code involving the names of drummers and bassists. Keep the arguments coming, though, and I promise I’ll have the poll up within the next day. I’m glad you understand, I am guessing.

No comments so far

Dream Band: Lists Revealed!

Here are the lists for the forthcoming Dream Band tournaments. Leave all complaints, or, if you haven’t figured out how internet feedback works yet, compliments, in the comments!

FRONTMEN

(Vote now!)

Alice Cooper
Anthony Kiedis - Red Hot Chili Peppers
Axl Rose - Guns n’ Roses
Billie Joe Armstrong - Green Day
Billy Corgan - Smashing Pumpkins
Bon Scott - AC/DC
Bono - U2
Bryan Ferry - Roxy Music
Chris Cornell - Soundgarden, Audioslave
Dave Gahan - Depeche Mode
Dave Matthews
Davey Havok - AFI
David Bowie
David Byrne - Talking Heads
David Lee Roth - Van Halen, solo
Debbie Harry - Blondie
Eddie Argos - Art Brut
Eddie Vedder - Pearl Jam
Elvis Costello
Frank Black - Pixies
Freddie Mercury - Queen
Gene Simmons - Kiss
Grace Slick - Jefferson Airplane
Henry Rollins - Black Flag, Rollins Band
Ian Curtis - Joy Division
Iggy Pop
James Brown
James Hetfield - Metallica
Janis Joplin
Jeff Mangum - Neutral Milk Hotel
Jello Biafra - Dead Kennedys
Jim Morrison - The Doors
Joe Strummer - The Clash
Joey Ramone - The Ramones
Johnny Rotten - Sex Pistols
Jon Bon Jovi
Kurt Cobain - Nirvana
Layne Staley - Alice In Chains
Liam Gallagher - Oasis
Meat Loaf
Michael Hutchence - INXS
Michael Stipe - R.E.M.
Mick Jagger - Rolling Stones
Morrissey - The Smiths, solo
Ozzy Osbourne - Black Sabbath, solo
Prince
Rivers Cuomo - Weezer
Robert Plant - Led Zeppelin
Robert Pollard - Guided By Voices
Robert Smith - The Cure
Roger Daltrey - The Who
Ronnie James Dio - Solo, etc.
Scott Weiland - Stone Temple Pilots, Velvet Revolver
Shane McGowan - The Pogues
Stephen Malkmus - Pavement, solo
Steve Perry - Journey
Steven Tyler - Aerosmith
Sting - The Police, solo
Ted Leo - Ted Leo & The Pharmacists
Thom Yorke - Radiohead
Trent Reznor - Nine Inch Nails
Wayne Coyne - Flaming Lips
Zach De La Roche - Rage Against the Machine
Zack Morris - Zack Attack

DRUMMERS

(Voting will open on Wednesday, June 6th)

Alex Van Halen - Van Halen
Animal - Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem (Muppets)
Bill Bruford - Yes, King Crimson
Brad Wilk - Rage Against the Machine, Audioslave
Carl Palmer - Emerson, Lake and Palmer
Carter Beauford - Dave Matthews Band
Charlie Watts - Rolling Stones
Chris Frantz - Talking Heads
Chris Pennie - Dillinger Escape Plan
Clyde Stubblefield - James Brown, rap samples
Danny Carey - Tool
Dave Grohl - Nirvana
Dave Lombardo - Slayer
Ginger Baker - Cream
Ian Paice - Deep Purple
Jimmy Chamberlain - Smashing Pumpkins
John Bonham - Led Zeppelin
Keith Moon - The Who
Larry Mullen Jr. - U2
Lars Ulrich - Metallica
Max Weinberg - E Street Band, Conan
Mick Fleetwood - Fleetwood Mac
Mitch Mitchell - Jimi Hendrix Experience
Neil Peart - Rush
Phil Collins - Genesis
Ringo Starr - Beatles
Steve Gadd - Steely Dan
Steve Smith - Journey
Stewart Copeland - The Police
Terry Bozzio - Frank Zappa
Travis Barker - blink-182
Zak Starkey - Oasis, modern Who

BASSISTS

(Voting will open on Thursday, June 7th)

Adam Clayton - U2
Bootsy Collins - Parliament/Funkadelic
Bruce Thomas - Elvis Costello & The Attractions
Charlie from “Lost”
Chris Squire - Yes
Cliff Burton - Metallica
Colin Moulding- XTC
Derek Smalls - Spinal Tap
Flea - Red Hot Chili Peppers
Geddy Lee - Rush
Geezer Butler - Black Sabbath
Jack Bruce - Cream
Jaco Pastorius - Weather Report, solo
John Entwistle - The Who
John Paul Jones - Led Zeppelin
Kim Deal - Pixies, Breeders
Krist Novoselic - Nirvana
Les Claypool - Primus
Mark Sandman - Morphine
Mike Gordon - Phish
Mike Watt - Minutemen
Paul McCartney - Wings
Paul Simonon - The Clash
Peter Hook - Joy Division, New Order
Phil Lesh - Grateful Dead
Phil Lynott - Thin Lizzy
Roger Waters - Pink Floyd
Sid Vicious - Sex Pistols
Steve Harris - Iron Maiden
Tony Levin - King Crimson
Victor Wooten - Bela Fleck & The Flecktones
William Mysterious - Rezillos

SONGWRITERS

(Voting will open on Monday, June 11)

Ben Folds
Benny Andersson / Bjorn Ulvaeus - Abba
Billy Joel
Bob Dylan
Brian Wilson - Beach Boys
Bruce Springsteen
Cat Stevens
Elliot Smith
Elton John / Bernie Taupin
Harry Nilsson
James Taylor
Jeff Lynne - ELO
John Fogerty - CCR
John Lennon / Paul McCartney - Beatles
Joni Mitchell
Leonard Cohen
Lou Reed
Marvin Gaye
Neil Young
Nick Cave
Otis Redding
Paul Simon
Randy Newman
Ray Davies - The Kinks
Robbie Robertson - The Band
Roy Orbison
Stevie Nicks - Fleetwood Mac, solo
Stuart Murdoch - Belle & Sebastian
Todd Rundgren
Tom Petty
Tom Waits
Van Morrison

29 comments so far

Dream Band Begins!

64 lead singers. 64 guitarists. 32 drummers. 32 bassists. 32 songwriters. Five seperate tournaments, whittled down to one person in each category, will be held to determine the lineup for the greatest possible band ever assembled. Either that, or five unrelated human beings who never would have gotten along or sounded good together. But either way, we’re gonna have a lot of fun and a lot of arguments in which one commenter calls another one a pussy along the way.

Once we have declared a lineup for the greatest supergroup in rock history, Chris and I will offer the money we have made off of the Google ads on this site - somewhere between $159 and $90,000,000 - to the Dream Band to form and put on a concert on this site. I know what some of you are thinking, but believe me, rock is not about the money, or about still being alive. The Dream Band is happening.

Jump over to the right and vote in Round One of the Guitarist Tournament! The poll will be open until 5:00 Friday. The rest of the tournament brackets will be revealed later today, and the Frontman tournament will begin tomorrow.

Go vote, spread the word, and let those people having fun vs. people taking it weirdly seriously comments fly!

17 comments so far